Blah

I'm having issues.

I once dated this guy where all we did was stuff he wanted to do. I was always at his house. Watching him play video games. Or going to the gym while he played basketball. Hanging out with only his friends. I no longer had my own life. After dating him I told myself that when I started dating someone new that I would become a part of his life and he would become a part of mine.

I sometimes don't understand why I feel the ways I do. Sometimes I just wish someone would make plans WITH me, instead of telling me what the plans are after they have been made with others. What if I want to make other plans with the same person, but I can't because they made plans for me with others. I don't think I'm explaining this well. I feel like I haven't gotten to do something I like to do in a while.

Hmm... but what do I like to do? I don't know. I just don't feel like people care about me. I guess this is me being selfish. I need something for me, occasionally. I guess I feel like I try to do things for people, make them feel cared for and loved, but I don't feel like I get that in return sometimes.

I've also lost a lot of my friends recently and I hate that. This might be part of the problem. I don't talk to as many people.

I guess this is the end of my pity party. I need a hug.